By Brother Guy Ames
After months of uncertain diagnosis, we waited the weekend to hear about a biopsy. The times we wait for “news” can be distressing. During times of uncertainty, loss or distress, we can feel such weight, especially while we wait. Waiting on God or taking the situation into our own hands, that’s the question.
Replaying the scenes of his trials with King Saul, David remembered seasons of despair. Don’t you love the honesty of the Psalms; much like our “Open Heart” conversations at the Ashram. The psalmists bare their deepest emotions trusting that God both knows them completely and loves them in spite of our questions and fear. We can be honest with God. We can pour out our most ugly emotions to the One who knows us completely.
1 I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2 Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
3 The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by distress and sorrow.
4 Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Lord, save me!”
The doctor called: “the biopsy came in and you have a stage 4 rare cancer.” That night as my wife and I held one another we remembered our lives together and the future we had expected. Life is so uncertain; scripture reminds us that life can be fleeting yet we are called to remain spiritually vigilant.
David takes a panoramic view of his life and recalls the many times God has “shown up,” the times of God’s peace, the days of God’s deliverances. I like this, because faced with tough times our tendency is to look inward rather than backward. David looks back reminding him of God’s faithfulness and that gives him hope.
5 The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
6 The Lord protects the unwary;
when I was brought low, he saved me.
7 Return to your rest, my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
David reminds us how to encourage our hearts during difficult times; remember God’s goodness in the past. Thus, his response to his question, “So what shall I do remembering God’s goodness in spite of my current circumstances?
13 I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the Lord.
14 I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people.
This was the word we needed. God has led us through trials and brought us safely before, we can trust him to do so again. Instead of complaints and fear, God calls us to worship, to trust. Through worship, our eyes turn from ourselves and circumstances to the One who holds us through all circumstances because we can believe that “in all things God works for good to those who love him, to those who have been called according to his purposes” (Romans 8:28).
